American Girl Adventure

I was way too old when I got my first American Girl Doll. Dare I say I was in…gulp…6^th grade? Here’s the thing. The way I see it, 6^th graders of the 80’s were more like 4^th graders of today, so it’s really ok.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I wasn’t going to throw Kelly under the bus here, but she’s a big part of the story, so sorry Kel, now everyone knows how old you were too. Luckily, you were a year younger. 5^th grade seems much more appropriate.

That catalog came shortly before Christmas in 1987. We sat at Kelly’s kitchen table and looked through every single page. Back then, there were only 3 dolls to choose from. Molly (wasn’t crazy about her glasses) Kirsten (seemed a little plain) and then there was Samantha. Everything about her was perfect. Her clothes, her hair, her fancy accessories. That Christmas morning, Samantha was under both of our trees.

 

 

Fast forward to shortly before Christmas 2011, the infamous catalog reappeared in my mailbox. This time, filled with a ton, and I mean a TON more dolls. I don’t know who was more excited, me or Charlotte. We snuggled in bed that night and read it cover to cover. I figured this was the year she would get one, and I’ll admit, I was pushing for a historical doll so we could learn about her together. But nope. She wanted nothing to do with those. Instead, she chose Kanani-the Hawaiian doll. Why? Because she had the “longest, prettiest hair.”  Kanani also happened to be “Doll of the Year”..which meant Santa better get a move on ordering one before there was no more Kanani. (Santa was noticing online that most of the accessories had already been sold out.)

 

But luckily, she made it. From Hawaii to her new home in Connecticut, a certain 5 year old was very happy to see Kanani under our tree.

When we were invited to a bridal shower in DC this summer, I took the opportunity to plan a little girls getaway for me, Charlotte, my mom, and of course Kanani, to visit the American Girl store there. I saw on the website that some of the neighboring hotels had special deals..and I was really impressed with the Hilton at Tyson's Corner. The American Girl Package was $109/night and included: 2 queen beds, and a bed for the Doll-that you get to keep, turndown service for the child and the doll (chocolates on the pillow too!) and breakfast for the child each morning (reg $22). I thought the bed was going to be like a little cardboard bed (think Build A Bear box) but it’s a really nice quality doll bed. In fact the woman at the front desk said you can buy them there for 35! So it was really cost effective to do the package. We honestly couldn’t believe how nice everything was.

A few weeks prior to our trip, I booked lunch at the American Girl Café. It was basically a pink palace filled with girls and moms and aunts and grandmas, and dolls on every table. (I saw a couple of dads and one lone boy. He didn’t seem too happy.)

 

 

 

 

We noticed that every doll had a very fancy hair do, with ribbons and bows and braids. So I asked the girls at the table next to us how they got such pretty locks, and they told us to run downstairs and make an appointment for Kanani to get her hair done. We did..and not a minute too soon. Remember that “longest, prettiest hair?” Yup. Didn’t take long to turn into this…

 

                                                                can this lion be tamed?

We ate while Kanani was at her spa appointment (we made an ear piercing appt too. A little excessive? Probably. ) The food was surprisingly delicious. You get to choose an appetizer and an entrée, with both kid and mom approved selections. Here’s charlotte’s first course…

 

 

 

We skipped dessert. Mainly because we couldn’t wait to see Kanani’s hair. All 3 of us were certain there wouldn’t be much they could do to help her. We thought the braid we had chosen just wasn’t going to work. But boy, were we wrong. Can you believe the transformation?

amazing!

For a split second I thought they switched the heads with another Kanani in the back somewhere. But the hairdresser assured me with water and their signature wire brush, all American Girl doll hair can be tamed. I didn’t believe it, but we bought the brush, and she was spot on. That thing works like a charm. Charlotte has been working on Samantha’s hair, and she looks better now than she did when I had her 20+ years ago. Definitely worth the 8 dollar investment.

We spent the rest of the afternoon polking around the shop at all the different accessories. All the sales girls said “Hi Kanani” as we walked by. I thought it was adorable, and unbelievable that they could recognize her. Charlotte had the time of her life. We all did. It’s worth a trip to one of the stores if you have a little girl who is in love with her doll, like mine. Though, she's already thinking ahead.

“Next year Mommy, I think I’ll ask Santa for a historical doll. Marie-Grace. She’s from New Orleans..and she has the prettiest hair…”

Wishful thinking? Probably. But at least we have the brush.

 

 

We're back!

If you're wondering why you haven't heard from us in a while, it's because we were together! Kelly and her kids made the trek east (2 toddlers on a looong plane ride, sans husband. I really should have met her at the airport with a glass of sangria. Or excedrin. Or both.) They stayed for a good chunk of August. It was SO AMAZING to have an old friend nearby. You know the kind. You don't see each other for years, barely talk on the phone, but are able to pick right up where you left off. That's Kelly. And it was such a pleasure getting to know her 2 little ones. Sweet,  adorable and hilarious pretty much sums it up.

So now she's back in CA (sniff) and even though we're currently on opposite coasts, somehow we're all suffering from what I like to call the "Fall Cold."  So once we're all feeling human again, we'll write a blog about our time together. But in the meantime....  make way for a new Guest Blogger!  Cathy Johnson, currently lives just outside of Philly. Cathy is one of our oldest and dearest friends. We love her, and we hate her because she is So. Darn. Organized. So how does she do it all? Read below for some of her tips!

When are things going to return to normal? Not. For. A. Long. Time. With a toddler aged daughter, Westie dog, full-time job, and a husband who travels, I’ve accepted that crazy busy is the new normal. However, crazy busy doesn’t have to mean stressed. Here are a few things I do to stay on top of everything. I’m not perfect, but this system really helps. My whole family is happier when the household is running smoothly, and we have more time to enjoy the things we love. And we spend so much less time worrying about things like running out of toilet paper, last minute trips to the store because we’re out of milk, etc.

Getting organized:

· Inventory management – keep a master list of all inventory items, and once a week go through the list to see how much is on hand vs. what is needed. This includes toiletries (razor blades, shampoo, body wash, cosmetics, and prescriptions), household (toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, cleaning items), pantry items, perishables, dog food, poop bags, diapers, wipes, etc. Since I currently have a patchwork system of procurement (i.e. I buy certain things at Target, Whole Foods, Farmers Markets, Trader Joe’s, Rite Aid, etc.) it really helps to plan ahead since usually my shopping list can contain items from multiple sources.

· Household tasks– make a plan for all household tasks, such as: food shopping, dry cleaning, polishing shoes, car (gas, wash, and maintenance), laundry, changing sheets, cleaning house, mowing grass, weeding, planting flowers, paying bills, preparing taxes, etc.

· Meals – every week make a plan for the menu, shop ahead for at least a few days, and keep staples on hand for favorite breakfasts and lunches. In summer, we go to the farmers market first, and then plan our menu around what is available. The main goal is to minimize last minute trips to the store because we have nothing on hand for dinner or ordering take-out because we didn’t plan ahead.

· Clear the clutter – East Coast Mom recently wrote an awesome post about this. Having less stuff and keeping things organized makes the house feel so much more orderly. After we moved in March, we put everything we don’t use often in the basement. That is my next project!

Maximizing our time:

· Manage the task list –We are constantly looking at what we have time for and figuring out other ways to get the rest done. First, is it really necessary? Can it be outsourced? Is there a more efficient way to do it? My husband likes freshly polished shoes, but doesn’t have time to do it. So I found a great little shoe repair place that does it for $6. Perfect!

· Make time for what is important – prioritize things that are most important, like family, friends, reading to my daughter, eating properly, etc.

· Exercise – why do I always make excuses? Yesterday I went for a run with my husband and daughter in the jogging stroller. We all had a great time. What about a quick hike or push-ups at home? Turns out, my daughter loves doing these things too. I am able to be active every day AND be a good role model for my daughter. So I need to stop making excuses and just do it.

· Ask for help – Why is asking for help so difficult?

· Say no – this one is also hard. After having my daughter, I’ve slowly backed out of unnecessary activities that add to my stress level. For example, while I loved my volunteer work before my daughter was born, I just don’t have enough time to do it all now, so I don’t. We are not going to a wedding in Maine this summer that we would really love to attend. I wish we could do everything, but we can’t.

· Screen time – limit screen time, not just for my daughter, but also for me. I will not admit how many hours I have spent on FaceBook, Pinterest and various other blogs this year. It is not productive – so now I spend less time online and more time doing other things.

· Evaluate work/life balance – my husband works a very demanding job and travels extensively. So I need to balance my work schedule to meet our family needs. I work from home most days, have a full-time nanny, and this equation has worked well for us these past few years. But with my daughter starting school in the fall, we are evaluating my work schedule again. The work-life equation is different for every family, and it changes through different stages (newborn vs. toddler, having another baby, starting school, etc.)

· Take a break – The last few years we have taken a Caribbean vacation in the fall, and then my husband doesn’t take a single day off for many, many months. So we’ve decided to try to take a break once per quarter to recharge our batteries. We’ll still take a big trip once a year, but other times it may be a long weekend getaway or staycation. Having some down-time will prevent burnout. And will make it easier to get back to work.

So this is how I attempt to balance everything. I would LOVE to hear some tips on how other busy Mamas balance it all!

-Cathy

For the first time in 6 years....

I slept alone in the house, and had a whole day to myself.

You see, I had to work on Saturday, so Jeff and the kids went to the beach with my parents, not to return home until Sunday night. While I was a little nervous to sleep alone, at least I had the dog. He’s not very ferocious, and he tends to sleep through most nighttime noises, but somehow I felt like if I was really in danger, he’s snap to it and save me. Or at least bark in enough time for me to call 911. My cell phone was under my pillow just in case, as I was sure the intruder would cut the phone line. Thankfully, burglars, murderers and other criminals left us alone.

How he spends most of his days

My head was spinning with the possibilities…sleep in, go to the outlets, organize a closet, prepare a weeks’ worth of dinners, watch a movie, go to a movie, take a nap, get a manicure, learn Italian; so many options, yet so little time. How was I to squeeze all of it into one day? I had to prioritize and decide. I was excited. So excited just to have my very own day.

Even though I had to work until almost midnight, somehow my internal clock did not allow me to sleep past 7:30. The morning was really quiet. I found myself kind of tip toeing throughout the upstairs, as if the kids were still asleep. It was quiet, and strange.

I decided to use the morning to do something productive, so I tackled the kid’s drawers and closets. It took me a good 3 hours, but boy was it worth it. I had a big box of stuff to bring to my favorite consignment store, Max and Lilly’s, and when I got there, talk about a stroke of luck! All size 6 clothes were an extra 70% off! Exactly peanut #1’s size. I loaded up with some great back to school finds.

Lilly P, Gap, Crewcuts, Gymboree and Janie and Jack...some with the tags still on!
My mom used to lay my new clothes out on the bed at night when she'd come home from a shopping trip. I used to LOVE waking up and seeing them. I think it's one of my favorite childhood memories. The shopping addiction started early.

For Peanut #2, some plaid Sperry's $14, a Janie and Jack Shirt $5
and a brand new Kitestrings jacket original price $47, for $7!!

The total cost for everything? $60. I had a $42 credit from stuff I’ve sold, so my out of pocket expense was only $18. And I feel so great about the whole reusing and recycling of clothes. A very productive morning, with time and money well spent.

Next up, lunch. Shopping always makes me hungry. Oh, and did I mention we lost power on our street? A good excuse to go out to eat, and though in my 20’s I would have never been caught dead eating alone, now, I don’t give it a second thought. (I truly believe I “found myself” in my 30s.) Anyway, I picked Nordstrom’s café for my favorite Roma tomato soup and salad. I didn’t have to wrestle someone into a high chair, pick up food off the floor, color, or play “I Spy” while we waited for our food. I sat there, ate quietly and realized, I really, really missed my family. I suddenly didn’t care what else I did the rest of the day. I just wanted everyone to be home.

As it turns out, they really, really missed me too. It was late when they pulled into the driveway, and they were asleep in the car, but I snuck in some hugs and heard a little voice wearily say “It’s so nice to see you again mommy.” I tucked them in, kissed them bunches, and went to bed myself.

Today, while sporting the minivan to the grocery store and singing KidzBop 20 in the car, I realized THIS is the perfect day. At least my perfect day. Alone time is highly overrated.

Rhode Island Vacay

A 10 day vacation: Sounds. Like. Heaven. No work, no meetings, no appointments or obligations, just time to relax...ahhhh. I was imagining lazy days on the beach, sleeping in, sipping a cold drink while flipping through magazines…

**NEWSFLASH**

Vacations with a 6 year old, a 2 year old, and a dog are *not* relaxing. In fact, I think they are actually a little more work than being at home, where they have all of their favorite stuff, toys and routines. While both of my kids are pretty adaptable, let’s just say there wasn’t a whole lot of relaxing while they played nicely and “entertained themselves.” I was pretty much the entertainment. All of the time. And sleeping in? Silly, silly me. They still got up at 6:30 even if I stayed up until midnight. I feel like I could use a vacation from this vacation. But, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Here’s a recap of some of our favorite family moments.

Bonnet Shores, RI; a place I’ve been coming to since I was 10. Reliving some of my favorite childhood memories with my kids, and seeing the excitement in their little eyes was such a gift. I was so proud of Charlotte for learning how to catch crabs under rocks, and for letting them go to be “back with their families”.  Searching for snails and mussels is all Chad wanted to do, and he laughed in hysteria when a hermit crab popped out of its shell. I love that they learned to appreciate the ocean, and what lives inside of it.

Low tide is best for catching little crabs under rocks.

Next up was Aunt Carries Restaurant for some good old Rhode Island seafood, fresh off the boat.

Here’s my plate.

Lobster sandwich on homemade bread, 2 clam cakes (not to be confused with crab cakes) and clam chowder.

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? My sandwich was STUFFED with lobster. And Chad chowed down on those clam cakes like it was nobody’s business. We were so proud that he tried something new and loved it. Nothing says “healthy toddler food” like a big ball of deep fried dough stuffed with clams.

All kids meals come with an ice cream voucher to claim across the street.
Cherry Vanilla Chip for the little lady.

As Chad was turning 2 on this vacation, and is completely OBSESSED with elephants, we thought a trip to the Roger Williams Zoo in Providence would be right up his alley. We were right. The Birthday Boy loved every second.

“El-fants! Giraffes! Zebras!! Go see em’!”

The only problem? It was hot. Really, really hot. The high in Providence that day was 95 degrees, with a heat index of 103. But we made the most of it, stopping at some spritzing stations throughout the park, and capping off our visit with a refreshing, thirst quenching Dell’s Lemonade. I never really understood the fuss about this stuff before, seeing the signs all over RI, but I get it now. Oh, do I get it. That stuff is Dell-iscious.

I'm totally amazed we were able to leave the gift shop without buying anything.

The next day, a cold front came through…thank goodness. The weather was a little cloudy, so we decided to check out Adventureland; a place that my brothers and I loved when we were little (umm… about 25 years ago.) Today, there’s a whole lot more to do. We started out with Bumper Boats.

Yay! Bumper Boats! Woo Hoo. Sounds fun!

Note: Do not wear white shorts on bumper boats. In fact, don’t even bother blow drying your hair or putting on makeup because YOU WILL GET SOAKED. There’s no escaping it. The kids LOVED it. Getting sprayed, spraying ME, I have never heard them laugh so hard. I, on the other hand, cried a little, mainly from the burning of mascara in my eyes. Not sure bumper boats are for me. But I pulled it together, and we all enjoyed the Carousel. “Up and down horse again mama!” So stinking cute.

Jeff thinks this picture is going to end up on Awkward Family Photos some day. I think it's cute.

After our Adventureland morning, we were all craving seafood again, so we headed south to Galilee, another family favorite from my youth. It’s a little tourist town where you catch the Block Island Ferry, so there are cute beach shops, fish markets, and of course, plenty of boats to watch coming in and out of the harbor.  Since we were still soaked from the infamous bumper boats, sweatshirts were in order. I was lucky enough to find a clearance rack of $10 kids sweatshirts, and even luckier to fit into a Boys size Large. The ladies sweatshirts were $42! There’s nothing I love more than a good bargain.

2 sweatshirts for 20 bucks! I was so happy to be dry.
You can see people loading onto the Block Island Ferry behind us.

We settled on Champlin’s for lunch...the best part? You get to pick your own lobster, and they cook it for you. We found a chunky 2 pound-er for all of us to share.

Here he is:

It’s almost like he’s waving goodbye on the scale. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t make me sad. I actually shed a few tears and I could see Charlotte was getting choked up too. But Jeff suggested this experience will all make us appreciate the food we eat more, and he was right. We like to think that little guy would be happy knowing he was the juiciest, tenderest, tastiest lobster we’ve ever had. 

"I like it plain mommy, but I really like it with butter!"

But what really made this meal special was watching and waving to the boats going by; some going fishing, some going Whale Watching, and of course the "big one" going to Block Island. Maybe we’ll tackle that in a couple of years. When a certain someone can actually sit for the hour long ferry ride.

Boat Watching is the PERFECT 2 year old boy activity

So as for that stack of magazines and books I planned on reading this vacation? I didn’t get to any of it. Not a single page. But you know what? I don’t care. When they’re teenagers, I’m sure they’re going to want to spend much more time with their friends than with me (sniff), so I’ll have plenty of time to catch up on my summer reading list then. I don’t want to wish away these years when they’re little. It’s already going by way too fast. Which reminds me of a quote I saw in one of those cute beach stores:

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.”

So even though we were out of breath from keeping up with the little ones, I think we all came away from these 10 days with plenty of memorable moments.

Everyone look at the camera! Smile! Say Cheese!

"The coldest winter I ever spent...

was summer in San Francisco."  No joke. I live 58.5 miles from the Golden Gate Bridge. It was an odd 105 degrees here today and 62 degrees and foggy there.  This odd summer weather is difficult for an East-Coast-born-and raised-girl to deal with. We'll make plans to go into the city or to a park in Berkeley only to be taken aback by the cold, wind, and fog.  It's JULY and we're alternating between fleeces and tank tops, depending on which micro-climate we're in.  Oh, and that quote up there? It may be true, but no one know who said it first.  Most will say Mark Twain, however my extensive Internet research has discovered it wasn't him.

But...he did say "If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes." Very true, but people in Oklahoma say that too. I'm pretty sure they think they made it up (no offense, Okies...okay, maybe a little. Your weather is terrible: ice, tornadoes, heat. Repeat. You are a strong bunch to live there!). 

Let's get to the point. Summer in New England is perfect. Granted, it's also the summer that I enjoyed for 21 years of my life, so nostalgia is a factor.  Warm to hot days (generally...and I'm not getting into a discussion of weather pattern changes, El/La Nino/a, or global warming-- I know its been hot and humid East Coasters...hang in there), cool mornings, relatively harmless thunderstorms, and swimming and water activities, and proximity to the beach (I'm speaking mostly of Connecticut). You know it begins in June, but you also know summer will end Labor Day weekend and I think that's why it's loved even more: it's fleeting. And that's the summer I remember fondly,  the summer I always imagined for my kids: playing in the sand, going to the pool, running through sprinklers, eating popsicles.

However, we've hit a SNAFU (which for you non-WWII historians is: Situation Normal All "Fouled" Up).  June was freezing with gale force winds. Aaron is afraid of getting wet via sprinkler (it can be scary when you are three feet tall just minding your own business and the automatic sprinklers turn on at the park). And the wading pool is closed for repairs and aforementioned child is terrified of the big pool...and who can blame him? I am too. Big miltary guys doing cannon balls next to him set us back a few weeks and we've finally worked back up to touching the water with one finger.  This is hard for swim coach mom to handle. We do, however, have popsicles. Phew.

watching the sprinklers from a safe distance

As a student and then a teacher for 10 years, summer has always represented a change of pace and a welcome break, but I'm finding with very small children, not too much has changed from spring. So, I've found the courage to get on an airplane with my two tiny tots and will be flying back to the summer (and wonderful family and friends!) I remember in August. And I think it'll be worth it. Wish me luck...travel tips greatly appreciated.

I love it when people I admire exceed my expectations

I really do.

In my job I get to meet A LOT of people. Celebrities, CEO’s, psychics, mailmen, doctors, comedians, veterans, veterinarians, etc, etc. My motto? Treat everyone else the way that I want to be treated. I strive to be kind and pleasant. Of course there are times when I stray, but for the most part, that’s me, and the rest of of my family too. We’re pretty friendly folks. My daughter has a t-shirt that sums it up best: It’s nice to be nice.

 
But the more people I meet, the more I realize not everyone follows this.

There are times when I think someone is going to be great, and they turn out to be awful. There are times when I think someone is awful and they turn out to be great. And while I LOVE being proven wrong in the latter scenario (never judge a book, right?) my absolute favorite is when I think someone is going to be great, and they turn out to be amazing. That’s how I felt about Blossom. Well, Mayim really. But she’ll always be Blossom to me. (I mean, seriously, didn’t we all have that flower hat? Kelly did. And I borrowed it as often as she let me. Searching in the attic for a pic as we speak…for both of our sakes, I hope I don’t find one.)

I knew she was a smart cookie…she has a PhD for cryin’ out loud. In Neuroscience. What does that even mean!? And her role as Amy on the Big Bang Theory literally makes me laugh out loud week after week. My favorite is her obsession with Penny. Love it. So, as soon as I found out I’d be interviewing her, I jumped up and down a few times, and then I started to prepare. I watched the Season Finale of the Big Bang Theory that had been on my DVR for a few weeks (Sheldon sneaking a little hand-holding!?!) and I ordered her new book “Beyond the Sling” on Amazon. It was sold out at every local book store, and even checked out of the library. Apparently, Attachment Parenting is HOT.

I read it in two nights, and it didn’t take me long to realize we have many, many, (many!) differences when it comes to our kiddos. I had 2 C-Sections; she home-birthed. I vaccinate; she doesn’t. I like cribs; she likes the family bed. Scheduled naps work for me; catnaps while baby wearing work for her. I enforce “please and thank you”; she thinks that’s robotic. I have basement full of plastic, battery operated toys; wooden blocks and kitchen bowls in her playroom. I followed Babywise; I’m pretty sure she burned that book in a campfire. Oh, and did I mention she ate her own placenta? Yeah. She did.

But there was one chapter that I thought had some great tips that even us *de-tached parents could benefit from: “Gentle Discipline.” I liked it. Instead of saying “No” (which I admit, I say more than I’d like to) say “Not For,” and then offer a solution. Here’s a possible scenario: Chad is trying to mess up one of Charlotte’s puzzles. “Not for Chad. Chad has a truck to play with over here.”  Chad is reaching for a knife: “Not for Chad. That knife is for mommy. Here’s a spoon for Chad.”

It may take a lot of patience and a lot of energy, but she says it works. In fact, her kids never ever say no, because, she claims, they never hear it. Now if her kids are running head on into traffic does it still work? Not sure. I should've asked her that. But I was pleased to hear that they do have temper tantrums in Target (the book does make them out to be little angels, and really, what kids can be THAT good all of the time).  So what does she do when one of them starts losing it in line? Like the rest of us, she’s left a cart full of stuff and escorted a screaming child out. She tells that story, and much more in my recent interview with her for Better Connecticut.

(*her word, not mine. Honestly, I feel like I'm just as 'attached' as every ergo-wearing bed-sharing mama out there, even though I don't practice many of the principals. This is why I hate labels, especially in parenting)

Not sure which part of the interview this is. Obviously something is striking me funny...hence the oh so flattering side double chin shot.

So why did I think she was so amazing when there’s almost nothing about her parenting style that I practice? She was kind. And sweet. And warm. The kind of person I wanted to keep talking to. I was secretly hoping she’d say “Hey, do you want to grab a drink after this event?” Of course, she didn’t. I had the perfect place in mind if she did, though. But I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve done these interviews, and they are just “checking us off the list,” getting on with their day, their speech, their performance, as if they’ve done us some kind of huge favor. They turn it “on” for the camera, but when the red light is off, you really see their true colors. Mayim was “on” before, during, and after our interview. She was really a pleasure. I loved her back in 1992, and I love her even more now. Though, a play date probably wouldn’t work.  My kids would be screaming “NOOO!” way too much. Especially if Miles took one of their toys. But maybe, just maybe, they’d say an impromptu “Thank You” when he gave it back.

 

Oh, Blossom...eating your own placenta? I did not see that coming, but I understand the origin of that idea and hey, good for you. And from what I gather from Attachment Parenting, it's somewhat about going back to basics. In a lot of ways, I think our generation is heading in that direction in general. Melissa, great interview and but I'm on the fence about her book. Not because I don't want to "practice" Attachment Parenting, but because my previous encounters with AP parents have been fairly negative (talking badly about those who don't breastfeed long enough, being "true baby wearers" Seriously? and don't even get me started on the science behind vaccines) but I like how Mayim spoke about her experience.

But I do have a little bit more to say on the subject...maybe too much, but this is something that strikes a nerve.

AP is definitely "hot" here in Northern California and certainly those who practice it have pretty strong feelings about it and they aren't shy about expressing them. And you know what? That's great. Finding something that works great for your family is truly, truly wonderful. And honestly, I do many of the things she mentioned in the interview and I have been mistaken for an "AP" parent (hence the mom who confided in me about really disliking moms who aren't "true baby wearers." Really? I mostly had Amelia in a sling for the convenience of having another hand to grab Aaron before he ran into the street). But I parent due to my personality and what I feel is right for my kids, not because I am following a national parenting style or making a conscience decision about everything I say or do regarding my kids. I remember when I first heard about AP, thinking to myself: "What do they mean 'attached'? Aren't all parents attached to their kids?"

I guess I just don't believe that you need a book or a method to guide what you do as a parent. I mean, we started saying to our dog -- "not for you, Zari"-- when she'd pick up one of the kids toys and it sort of spilled over into saying it to our kids too, along with saying no (ie: grabbing Aaron's hair: "Not for you, Amelia...", trying to open the 450 degree oven: NOOOOOOO). But we definitely don't let the dog sleep in our bed and our children have their own spaces that we've lovingly created in their own rooms. Aren't they going to learn what no means eventually? And what's the difference between having a "no" stage and a "not-not" stage? Maybe I'm not educated enough to be discussing this parenting style, so let that be my disclaimer. But I'm not educated enough on most parenting styles and techniques, but purposely so.  I read a lot of books before Aaron was born (and for the first few months after-- especially any book with "magic sleeping through the night" in the title), but soon realized a whole lot of it just didn't apply or just didn't work for us or for him. So, we just figured it out and stopped reading. Don't we all eventually just do that anyway? Sure, if something comes up, I seek out assistance (ie: see blog post about picky eaters)...but mostly from my friends and family.

I'm taking the following thoughts from two of my friends: One who has kids the same age as me, and the other who doesn't have kids but has observed many families. They both essentially believe that all these parenting books and experts have tried to make parenting into a science, and well, an industry, actually. So that if we just put together the right formula, we'll have a successful child and a happy family. Makes it sound so easy, yet it puts so much pressure on us all to do it right.  

I now just like to read well-written funny parenting memoirs ( Homegame by Michael Lewis comes to mind) because I can relate, laugh, and appreciate that everyone has a different experience and it's impossible to do it all perfectly...so,  in the spirit of embracing differences, maybe Mayim's book will grace our bookshelves after all.

Isn't this the most important thing about parenting?

Road Trippin'

East Coast West Coast Mom is pleased to announce our very first Guest Blogger!
Welcome Jaleh Reeves of Raleigh, NC. We hope you enjoy the hilarious reenactment of her family's latest roadtrip. We sure did!
-Kelly & Melissa

It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark . . . and we’re wearing sunglasses.

OK, well it wasn’t that type of road trip, but loading up the family minivan and embarking on a 4-state, 2-week, 2,000+-mile vacation was kinda cool in a Blues Brothers retro sort of way.

I should start by introducing myself. My name is Jaleh and I’m a friend of Melissa’s – I used to live in Connecticut, but I’m now sunning myself in Raleigh, North Carolina. A southern transplant up North, I’m now back in the land of sweet tea and magnolias, but I miss my lovely Northern mommy friends. My first child, Carson, was born within a month of Melissa’s daughter, so we celebrated many wonderful milestones that first year together. Now we celebrate on Facebook. Hopefully she’ll keep me as a guest blogger, and maybe I’ll share some insights about being a Southern mama. And, of course, what Lily Pulitzer prints are hot down South.

Now back to that road trip. Two days after the last day of school, the kids and I and their Nana and Papa loaded up the Sienna and started our road trip. My husband, always a bit saner than the rest of us, stayed behind to earn a living while his family traipsed around the southeastern U.S. You see, we had kin to visit. (For you Northerners, that means family.)

Our first stop was Tennessee. After 10 hours, many potty stops, some icees, innumerable replays of the Muppets movie, a few threats of violence, and one stop at a Cracker Barrel (for you Northerners, sorry, can’t really explain this reference – try to picture rocking chairs, country cooking, and lots of candy), we finally arrived. Tired, rumpled, sore, but still optimistic about our trip.

We had an absolutely wonderful visit on the farm where my mother (Nana) grew up – kids fed horses carrots out of their hands; found lots of treasures among the old, rusted farm equipment (um, I wonder when their last tetanus booster was?); and ate homemade ice cream on my aunt’s front porch watching the lightning bugs.

The kids feeding horses on the farm.

Next stop, my old hometown – Richmond, Kentucky. You may get this lovely destination confused with Richmond, Virginia. No, my Richmond is not the location of William & Mary. Unless you mean Will & Mary Ann who run the old Phillips 66 station down the street. This is the Bluegrass – just half an hour down I-75 from Kentucky’s greatest exports – UK basketball and horse racing (oh, and bourbon). Nana and Papa still live in this metropolis and aren’t budging. Heck, they know everyone in town, and see them all weekly at Bob Evans, why on earth would they want to go and do something crazy like move to Raleigh? (I digress.)

Did we ever have a great time in good ol’ Richmond! Lucky for us, there was a carnival in the Meijer parking lot. Premier people watching, let me tell you! For those of you taking notes, leave your pit bull at home when going to a carnival. And don’t let your kids eat Cotton Candy double-fisted from the bag with said pit bull. I saw it. I wouldn’t recommend it. We did indulge in a funnel cake, however. It was, comparably, very civilized. We also rode the Ferris Wheel. I said lots of prayers that evening. For my children, and the language I used when they started rocking back and forth on that Ferris Wheel, and also for the mysterious grease that got in my sweet girl’s hair from that ride. I scrubbed those children within an inch of their lives that night.

On the Ferris Wheel. Notice my white-knuckled grip on the bar and my forced
smile. I think this photo caused my husband to come join us.

For anyone who is concerned about the culture factor of this trip, our experience in Kentucky also included high tea at a beautiful tearoom (Lord help me, real bone china in the hands of my children), and a trip to the Lexington Children’s Museum. OK, educational time over.

The kids enjoy tea at The Greentree Tearoom in Lexington, Kentucky.

Next stop, Dayton, Ohio to visit my maid of honor and old college roommate and her family. Now this is where I could have used that half a pack of cigarettes and the sunglasses. We have had our share of adventures. Most of them have not included four children six and under and an amusement park. But this one did. Off to Kings Island we went. I took my precious gifts from God on a full-on roller coaster. Not my brightest mommy moment. I should have known this was probably not a good idea when they brought out the measuring stick to make sure they were tall enough. My six-year old almost puked. Scarred for life, I’m afraid. My four-year-old, Lily Pulitzer-loving, monogrammed, bow-wearing, petite ballerina, looked up at me like she had just seen Santa, and said, “ Mommy. I LOVE it. Can we go again?” She’s talked of little else since.

A more reasonable children's roller coaster. I was afraid pictures from the
other one might be used against me at a later time. Like with psycho therapists.
Or when choosing my nursing home. Notice my adrenaline junkie up front.

Finally, my husband joined us. I think mainly to monitor the final days of our journey. Suspicious of all of the photos I’d been texting him, he thought he’d accompany us on the last leg of our adventure – Lake Cumberland. Back to Kentucky we went - with yet more fun friends and their children. If the Blues Brothers had had a boat, it would have been almost as cool as the one we played in all weekend. If they had gone tubing on a lake, I doubt they could have topped our sun-soaked, wind-whipped, perma-grin ride. The kids – and adults – had a ball.

Tubing!

Despite all of the fun, the children were tiring of all the travel. And the mini-van was packed to capacity, thanks, in part to a piece of furniture I bought at a going out of business sale, oh, and that drum set I picked up for the kids at a yard sale for $3 (that will be the subject of my next post – Why I do manic things before 7 a.m. before my coffee.) It was time for the trip to end. I knew it was true when my four-year-old said, “I want to go to Raleigh, North Carolina.” Yes, dear, we’re on our way.

Now the laundry is done and folded. Groceries fill the fridge. The van has been serviced and washed. And the suitcases are back in the attic. It was an epic road trip. Would I undertake such a journey again? Absolutely. Or as they say in my corner of the world, “If the good Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise.”

- Jaleh Reeves